Today I am thinking of final times...and things that come to pass.
The final time I see the first robin of the year
The final time I wait for elderberry blossoms to fruit
The final time I gather the ripened berries and sit for hours, fingers deftly removing the stems
The final time I feed wild turkeys at the state forest
The final time I carry my folding chair onto Sandwich Town Beach
The final time I sit by the summer ocean
The final time I watch for the beach plums to ripen
The final time my arms are scratched bloody while plucking them from thorny branches
The final time I turn my wild bounty into beach plum and elderberry jam
The final time I satisfyingly line a shelf with row upon row of jelly jars, like sparkling gems of ruby and amethyst
The final time I take my dog for a 5 minute walk
The final time I forage for wild mushrooms
The final time I cook for enjoyment
The final time I see the glorious colors of Autumn leaves
The final time my nose gets dusted with pollen while smelling a Casablanca lily
The final time I pinch off sprigs of curly mint growing at the bottom of my stairs and breathe in its fragrance
The final time I plant a flower
I would have made these moments more sacred had I known I was doing them for a final time.
~~~
Looking up at the sky
Walking with my head held high, in perfect posture
Breathing without having to fight for it
Feeling my body totally relax
Smiling and laughing
Eating and drinking without having to do certain maneuvers to prevent choking
Taking my dog for a walk
Driving for pleasure
Having my teeth cleaned
Being able to do anything with ease
Working in a garden
Doing anything for pleasure
Enjoying, really enjoying life
Being free of physical pain and discomfort
~~~~
I will make very special moments of what remains within my ability to do
as if doing each one for the final time.
The final time I see the first robin of the year
The final time I wait for elderberry blossoms to fruit
The final time I gather the ripened berries and sit for hours, fingers deftly removing the stems
The final time I feed wild turkeys at the state forest
The final time I carry my folding chair onto Sandwich Town Beach
The final time I sit by the summer ocean
The final time I watch for the beach plums to ripen
The final time my arms are scratched bloody while plucking them from thorny branches
The final time I turn my wild bounty into beach plum and elderberry jam
The final time I satisfyingly line a shelf with row upon row of jelly jars, like sparkling gems of ruby and amethyst
The final time I take my dog for a 5 minute walk
The final time I forage for wild mushrooms
The final time I cook for enjoyment
The final time I see the glorious colors of Autumn leaves
The final time my nose gets dusted with pollen while smelling a Casablanca lily
The final time I pinch off sprigs of curly mint growing at the bottom of my stairs and breathe in its fragrance
The final time I plant a flower
I would have made these moments more sacred had I known I was doing them for a final time.
~~~
Things I have not been able to do for years and wish I had cherished more.. things which have passed out of my life - already done for the final time:
Looking up at the sky
Walking with my head held high, in perfect posture
Breathing without having to fight for it
Feeling my body totally relax
Smiling and laughing
Eating and drinking without having to do certain maneuvers to prevent choking
Taking my dog for a walk
Driving for pleasure
Having my teeth cleaned
Being able to do anything with ease
Working in a garden
Doing anything for pleasure
Enjoying, really enjoying life
Being free of physical pain and discomfort
~~~~
I will make very special moments of what remains within my ability to do
as if doing each one for the final time.
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4 comments:
what a beautiful yet paining ode to the little gifts of life.
it is so cruel that someone who is such an admirer and caretaker of nature, must suffer the incapability of doing this for much longer.
bless your spirit, for it is so strong and loving, noone can take that away from you.
illness is a terrible thing. physical suffering goes so much deeper than most people realize
Hi,
I read a bit about your situation online. It began after I came across the actress Lisa Rina's silicone lip misfortune. I began to look at celebrity plastic surgery disasters the next day and your youtube videos were linked there.
I went through three phases
1. Shock, horror, feeling really bad.
2. Then I read the doctors legal papers and thought you were crazy and the doctor must be right. (I'm just being honest).
3. Finally I did some more research and I saw how shady the situation really was, and the backhandedness, and cyber bullying you were recieving. Read your papers, and I have to say, it's a really awful thing.
I know it wont completely alleviate the situation but I hope you can find some breathing techniques without hurting your skin, try not to think about it, cuz that will make it a whole lot worse... and keep a level head. Try to remain proffessional.. ...the truth will be revealed.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you find some joy in your bird watching there on the beautiful cape.
I can't even go to an orthodontist without being lied to I got top braces for spaces and the ortho said he could only pull together the front 6 or i'd need full braces. I didnt take the upsell and he got 2 grand to pull together the first 6 teeth.. left spaces on the side he said wouldn't be noticeable unless i smile REALLY WIDE (Should have seen and kinda did notice it was an outright lie but I was stupid).. I can't smile at ALL it looks awful and I wish I could have my teeth back to the way they were I would never agree to THAT. but he has good reviews.
Face creams I bought messed up my skin. So I know the whole asthetic industry is crooked. I can't even get a haircut without it coming out bad.
I know damn well it would come out the same as you if I were to have surgery, cuz everyone wants $ thats the bottom line. Even celebs have botched jobs. And they really get the "top" doctors.. so it's crazy. I hate hollywood and mags and it sickens me in general..
Sorry for the rant. I know you have it way worse than me, but just wanted you to know I understand... You don't have to post this, just wanted to drop you a line and I don't have a youtube account.
You don't know me, but I live nearby in Forestdale. I've seen you for years at different times and places; the post office, CVS, and Stop & Shop. Last week I saw you at the Sandwich Urgent Care Center. You were in the Radiology Dept and wearing a face mask. You looked as if you belonged in a hospital.
My heart goes out to you. I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain and suffering.
You look like a very kind, gentle person. I saw you bring cookies in for the people at the post office and how their eyes lit up. I even heard you taking to the birds and squirrels on your deck. Now you know where I live :-) I also see you struggling to fill your bird feeders and can hear you clear across your fence and yard gasping for breath.
I read some of your website and can't understand how doctors continue to ignore your difficulty. I can only pray that you receive a miracle in your life, that perhaps a doctor will recognize the damage to your body and offer to help.
God bless you. Keep feeding those squirrels. It keeps them out of my yard!
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